Episodes

It’s a full-on Crankers Friday, and this episode is melting like a stolen block of cheddar! We dive headfirst into the mystery of $400,000 worth of cheese vanishing from Neal's Dairy (yes, cheese crime is real). Then things get spicy as we uncover the tale of Joan of Leeds—a medieval nun who said "no more nun for me" and faked her death to go chase a little... fun. In other insane headlines: a live hand grenade is found inside a chip factory in China (that’s some explosive crunch), and we debate...

Love is in the air... and so is the scent of questionable cologne and wild Ozark flowers! Spring Time LOVE is the newest original comedy storytelling song from Morning Crankers, bringing you a skunky spin on spring romance. This toe-tapping tale follows a hopelessly romantic skunk and his sassy woodland crush in a Pepe Le Pew-style pursuit through the backwoods. It’s awkward, it’s adorable, it’s pheromone-filled mayhem! Packed with flirty lyrics, cartoon chaos, and that unmistakable Crankers hum...

Pour one out for your broken heart and belly laugh with Can I Hold You Again?, a teary-eyed yet side-splitting comedy song from the lovable lunatics at Morning Crankers. It’s the anthem for every soft-hearted romantic who's ever ugly-cried to a breakup text, sent that late-night “u up?” message, or tried cuddling a body pillow with a name. Dripping with fake sincerity and real hilarity, this track hilariously flips heartbreak on its head with parody lyrics, dramatic vocals, and all the cringe of...

Get ready to fan the flames of chaos with Love is a Dumpsterfire, the latest unhinged anthem from Morning Crankers! This original comedy song hilariously dives into the flaming wreckage of modern relationships—awkward dates, explosive texts, and emotional meltdowns included. It's raw, ridiculous, and weirdly relatable. If you’ve ever loved, lost, or simply watched someone else's relationship combust like a fast food bag on fire in a back alley, this track is for you. Set your earbuds ablaze and ...

On today’s Morning Crankers, we unleash our brand-new comedic banger “Real Men Don’t Exfoliate: The Heist of Manhood”—a testosterone-fueled anthem for the gritty, the grimy, and the gloriously un-groomed. We break down April 24th’s National Days (spoiler: still no “National Bacon-Wrapped Chainsaw Day”), celebrate Missouri leading the charge in nuclear energy (BOOM, baby!), and explore groundbreaking feline science—do cats' buttholes actually touch the furniture when they sit? The answer may scar...

Welcome to the Morning Crankers Comedy Podcast—where news meets nonsense and Hump Day hits harder than a chupacabra on your deck! In today’s wild ride: 🛸 We dig into a declassified CIA document on remote viewing—yes, the government actually tried Jedi mind tricks. 🇷🇺 Then it's off to Russia, where a KGB doc claims aliens turned soldiers into stone. Medusa? E.T.? We’ve got thoughts. 🦌 A deer wanders into a YMCA in Kentucky, probably just looking for yoga and a protein shake. ⚰️ A man is laid to r...

Buckle up and brace yourself for a wildly hilarious ride on Morning Crankers, where today’s show dives headfirst into the absurd, the scientific, and the downright retro-ridiculous. We kick things off by honoring the April 22nd National Days (some of them will blow your mind), then reel in a whopper of a story about invasive snakehead fish spotted in Missouri waters—yep, the ones that can breathe air and walk on land like creepy little swamp zombies. But wait—there’s more! We dig up a 1955 magaz...

Buckle up, buttercup, because this Morning Crankers Monday is a rollercoaster of ridiculousness and revelation! We’re serving up a full plate of chaos with the dumbest celebrity quotes ever uttered—from “is the moon part of the Earth?” to “I don’t believe in mirrors”—yes, these are real. Then, it’s time for a patriotism-powered twist as Toyota announces plans to manufacture the Rav4 in the USA (finally!). We brush up on the best electric toothbrushes—because your gums deserve greatness. Plus, Th...

Strap in, folks—this episode of Morning Crankers is a wild one! We kick things off with the National Days of April 18th (because apparently, every day needs a holiday). Then it gets real strange, real fast: a 3-year-old claims he's been reincarnated, correctly identifies a village, his past home, his killer, the body location, AND the murder weapon. Someone get this kid a Netflix deal. We dive into the grossest beach cleanup story from New Jersey—spoiler alert: you’ll never look at the ocean the...

In this nostalgic and nutty episode of Morning Crankers, we crank it back to the golden days with our hilarious new segment “80s/90s Who Said That?” — can you guess which icon dropped the quote? From sitcoms to action flicks, it’s a blast from the past with a Cranker twist! Then we hit another level of stupid with some jaw-dropping headlines, including a Kentucky restaurant doing something so bizarre it might actually be genius. 💡🍽️ We also take a spin through politics as Kamala Harris announces...

On the April 16, 2025 episode of Morning Crankers, we’re back with another wild Hump Day Harmonies banger—this time it’s our brand new comedy song “Sent to China” roasting taxes, bureaucracy, and everything that mysteriously vanishes after we pay Uncle Sam. 💸🇨🇳 We also dig into today's National Days (spoiler: there's some weird ones), and we go full Cranker-mode on Tax Day frustrations that have the average American fuming. You’re not alone—anger is in the air and wallets are empty! 😡💵 Then we h...

Buckle up for another chaotic ride through comedy and curiosity with Morning Crankers! On this April 15th edition, we celebrate some of the weirdest National Days you’ve never heard of—because who doesn't want an excuse to eat weird snacks and blame it on the calendar? 😎📆 We’re talking about KFC-flavored toothpaste (yup, you read that right), a woman who proudly dyes her Easter eggs in the toilet, and a nasty new outbreak: ringworm from trying on clothes. We also dig into the surprising success ...

It’s a cosmic comedy collision on this episode of Morning Crankers! 💥 We’re launching headfirst into absurdity—starting with NASA’s $3 million quest for a better way to squish space poop 🚀💩. Then we flip into Conspiracy Crackdown where we ask the BIG question: Is there life after death... or just overdue taxes? We talk about the tragic story of a former LSU wide receiver, the Menendez brothers’ courtroom twist, and a bizarre tale involving a Bulgarian football team that feels like it was written...

Hold onto your coffee, folks—this episode of Morning Crankers is an all-you-can-eat buffet of bizarre headlines, hot grill recipes, and hilarious history! We kick things off with a mouthwatering spin on potato skins—Spinach Artichoke Potato Skins—perfect for your Weber grill cookout. Then we spiral into the strange as we uncover the story of a woman who tried to trade her foster child for a monkey (no, really). In our fan-favorite Crankers Drunk History segment, we uncork the French-Mexican Past...

It’s Thursday, and Morning Crankers is serving up another hot pot of comedy, chaos, and questionable wisdom! On the 4/10/25 episode, we launched a brand-new segment: Crankers Bad Bosses—where we exposed the worst of the worst in workplace leadership. From micromanaging maniacs to passive-aggressive post-it leavers, we told the stories, cracked the jokes, and gave you the therapy you didn’t know you needed. 💼 Ever worked for a boss who scheduled meetings just to feel powerful? We got you. 🤣 Unfil...

Get ready for a wild ride on this week’s Morning Crankers Hump Day Show (4/9/25)! We kicked things off with our fan-favorite segment Hump Day Harmonies, featuring the ridiculously relatable original hit “Love is a Dumpster Fire”—because nothing says midweek like emotional chaos with a beat! But that’s just the start... 🐺 Scientists are actually cloning dire wolves now—yes, the Game of Thrones kind (minus the CGI)! 🎬 Left-wing film legend Oliver Stone surprises everyone by agreeing with Trump on ...

Brace yourself for the most romantically tragic anthem of the year! Morning Crankers presents “Love is a Dumpster Fire”—the song that perfectly captures the chaotic beauty of modern relationships. With lyrics hotter than your ex’s rebound and melodies messier than a shared Netflix account post-breakup, this tune turns emotional disasters into comedic gold. Whether you’re happily single, regrettably committed, or texting your ex again, this original banger will have you laughing, crying, and poss...

Buckle up for the strangest ride of your morning! The Morning Crankers are diving headfirst into April 8th's national days and quickly veer off into the land of the bizarre with a wild collection of strange but true stories that'll leave you laughing, cringing, and questioning humanity. 👨‍🦱 Meet the former model who proudly chugs his own pee and does pee enemas—because apparently, that’s a thing. 💨 Discover the woman who’s developed a new wellness method called the orgasmic breath (yes, you read...

It’s National Beer Day and the Crankers are crackin’ cold ones while diving headfirst into the chaos of April 7th! 🍺 From budget brews that won't break the bank to naming the best cheap beers that fuel tailgates and bad decisions, this episode is both hilarious and refreshingly honest. We also get into the madness beyond the March Madness courts—like protestors who seem to have lost the memo on why they’re protesting 🤷‍♂️. Plus, we discuss a troubling rise in missing children cases in Illinois a...

On today’s wild ride of Morning Crankers, we’re serving up a buffet of bizarre, hilarious, and straight-up head-scratching stories! We kick things off with this week's Crankers Dumbest Criminal – and trust us, this one takes the cake 🍰 (and maybe tried to steal it too). Then we dive into a round of Would You Rather that gets more unhinged by the minute. From there, we get real about the billions of taxpayer dollars being poured into higher education – where’s it going and who’s benefiting? Next ...

Welcome to the April 3rd episode of Morning Crankers, where logic goes to die and laughs are born! Today’s wild ride kicks off with a brand-new segment: Crankers Court—the only courtroom where common sense is outlawed. We take on the BIG debates: How many holes does a straw really have? Is cereal a soup or just a soggy mistake? If you drop the soap… is the floor clean or is the soap dirty? 👀 Then we get inspirational with Daniel Kish, the real-life Daredevil, who has taught over 500 blind ch...

Happy Hump Day, Crankers! The April 2nd episode is packed tighter than Keanu’s gun belt! We kick things off with the wildest National Days you’ve never heard of—and a few you might be celebrating wrong. Then it’s time for our signature segment, Hump Day Harmonies, where we go live with our brand new original song, “Doge Is a Finishin’”—a politically incorrect, full-throttle spoken-word country banger that pulls no punches! We also dive deep into Keanu Reeves’ possible return in John Wick 5, plus...

Get ready for a wild ride on Morning Crankers! Today, we’re diving into the latest buzz, from Luke Grimes’ rumored Yellowstone spin-off to Avengers: Doom Days speculation—is the MCU about to shake things up again? Plus, it's April 1st, so we’re breaking down the quirkiest national holidays you didn’t know existed! And of course, we’re playing Crank It or Yank It, where we rate the hottest (and not-so-hot) trends of the week. Don’t miss out on the laughs, chaos, and unfiltered Crankers fun! 🎙️🔥 ...

Get ready for a wild ride on this episode of Morning Crankers! We’re covering everything from quirky national holidays to breaking news and sports madness. ☕ What’s on the menu today? 🥔 Happy National Tater Day! We’re diving into the history of this spud-tastic celebration. 🚔 Senior Assassin Game Sparks Police Warning – Harmless fun or potential danger? 🍽️ Applebee’s & IHOP Join Forces – What this major restaurant merger means for your next meal. ⚾ Yankees’ Torpedo Bats Smash Records! – How a ne...